


Stomach Knots and Cold Feet

by genericfanatic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, discussions of mawwaiage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 17:02:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10575660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Keith and Lance are engaged and its WONDERFUL!Except for those nagging knots in Keith's stomach...





	

“Absolutely not!”

“Allura—“

“We’re in the middle of a WAR, Lance. Now, I agreed for a few days off and I’ll help you in any way I can when we have time, but THIS is where I draw the line!”

“Allura, you don’t understand. If I get married and my mother isn’t there, I can never step on Earth again.”

Keith smiled to himself, watching his princess and his fiancé yell at one another until they were blue in the face. He kept his distance, watching them from the balcony instead of engaging in the fight himself.

Fiancé. The word was still strange to him. He looked at Lance. He no longer heard the words coming out of his mouth, focusing on the details of his, and thinking the same thoughts he had since Lance had given him his ring. He spun the ring on his finger. He loved Lance, so, so much. He couldn’t think about being with anyone but Lance, even if he annoyed him half to death most of the time. And that’s what people always said to each other when they got married. 

So why did he have this knot in his stomach?

“How long have they been going at it?” Shiro said, coming up behind him.

Keith turned back, “Phrasing, Shiro. And I lost track.” 

Shiro leaned over the balcony alongside him, watching the fight play out. “He really wants to head home for the wedding.”

Keith nodded, “His family’s important to him. He wants a traditional wedding. Well, as traditional as you can get with two grooms.” 

Shiro smirked. “Is that what you want?”

Keith shrugged, “I never thought about getting married. I never really thought I ever WOULD get married, so I don’t really have many preferences. Lance, meanwhile, has been planning his wedding since he was 6.”

Shiro laughed. “Yeah that sounds about right. Still. This is your wedding too.” The words sent a weird shiver down Keith’s spine. He tried not to let it show. “Just don’t let Lance take it over, is all I’m saying.”

Keith shrugged again. “He’s clearing all his decisions by me. He kept asking for my opinion on things, but I don’t have one, so,” He shrugs.

“Alien abductions happen all the time, Allura, can’t you just—“

“I’m not kidnapping your family, Lance!”

Shiro chuckled again as he watched the argument from above. “I wanted to tell you, I’m really proud of you.”

Keith wrenched his gaze from the fighters to raise an eyebrow at the man, “For what, if I may ask?”

Shiro shrugged. “Just…you’ve come a long way from the boy I met before I left. You’ve done a lot.”

“We all have,” Keith said.

Shiro nodded, “I know. But you were always so…so…”

Keith smiled, “I think the general at the Garrison used the words, ‘undisciplined’ and ‘unmanageable.’”

Shiro chuckled, “That sounds about right. Anyway, I just am glad to see you’re happy.”

Keith looked back down to Lance, his hands on his temples as he tried to keep up his argument with Allura. “Yeah. I am.” Alarm bells rang around them. “Could do without the intergalactic war, though.”

They all ran to battle stations. They had been battling for years and by this time, responding to a distress call sent to Voltron was practically clockwork. In fact, it was so routine, Lance decided to continue his argument with Allura even while they fought the Galran ships.

“I know it’s a security thing,” Lance said, “We can’t let the Garrison or anyone know aliens exist, whatever. All I’m saying is, we make a wormhole out by Kerberos, I go in, grab like, 20 of my closest relatives—“

“20?” Allura screamed at him, “We are not kidnapping 20 humans!”

“Fine then! Just immediate family. I can go in with Blue, and be back in less than a day. We have the ceremony, then the day after that I take them home. That’s 3 days.”

“So let me get this straight,” Pidge said, firing down a Galran ship, “You’re going to sneak down to Earth, past Garrison forces, head to your home, explain to your family that you’ve ACTUALLY been alive all these years, and then you’re going to bring them to an alien spaceship, get married, and then just ship your family back?”

“Yes.”

“Lance, on your left,” Shiro shouted. Lance swerved away from the shots, while Keith followed up behind, knocking out the ship’s guns. “Can we maybe put wedding talk on hold until AFTER the battle?”

“Keith, darling, sweetheart,” Lance only ever used sweet names like that when he wanted something, Keith had realized two months into dating him, “Back me up here.”

Keith sighed. “Well…I mean, Shiro’s already on board and he’s as close to family as I have, so I guess it’s fair if Lance has his family too.”

“Aww,” Shiro said, ignoring his own statement to put the conversation on hold.

“I still don’t like it,” Allura said, “There’s too much risk.” 

“I’ll let you be the minister~” Lance sang to her.

Keith could practically hear Allura frowning in confusion. “The what?”

“On Earth,” Hunk said, “It’s traditional to have someone of some kinda standing, like a priest or something, administer the wedding and actually marry the couple. I mean, these days it could be anyone.”

“But one of the traditional people to do it is a ship’s captain!” Lance said, “And you’re kinda like the captain of this spaceship.” Allura was silent for a moment, “It’s a huge honor to be a minister at a wedding.” 

Allura breathed through her nose. “Alright. Alright! I concede. We’ll start making plans, and when we have a spare few days, we’ll head to Earth.”

“YAHOO!” Lance shouted, and Blue did a loopdeloop and froze a Galran battleship whole. It floated aimlessly in space.

Keith felt his stomach drop.

 

Keith woke up to a hand on his mouth. His eyes bulged and he jerked, but his arms were held down. Looking up, he saw Allura standing over him in a battle suit, a finger to her lips that were spread in a wicked smile.

There was a shuffle behind her, and Keith watched Hunk come up behind Lance’s head and quickly put a bag over it. Lance immediately started lashing out, his yelling muffled by the bag. Allura, now confident that Keith wouldn’t scream, reached over and picked Lance out of bed, his resistance no match for her. 

She picked him up over her head and carried him out the door, Hunk giggling behind her.

Keith, not convinced this wasn’t a dream, turned over, confused. Shiro was standing in the doorway, smirking at him. Shiro tossed something at Keith’s head, which even with his sleep-ridden brain, he was able to catch. He blinked, trying to force himself awake, looking at it. It looked like a bottle of wine. He frowned at his friend, more confused than ever.

“Well, come on then, get up,” Shiro said, “Bachelor party.”

And that’s how Keith found himself sitting in the middle of the kitchen with a haphazardly made crown on his head, and wine being poured out in front of him. 

Shiro poured the wine, while Pidge and Coran sat on the other side of the counter, each sipping their own glasses. “Allura got really excited by the whole tradition, so volunteered to go out with Hunk and take Lance partying on a nearby planet. They…may have gotten a bit carried away.”

“You think?” Keith said, wiping the sleep out of his eyes and taking a sip of his wine. 

Shiro sat back in his chair, and poured his own wine. “I thought you would prefer something a little more laid back. Oh, but don’t worry. Allura and Hunk are both on strict orders that they can’t have any strippers.”

“Thank you,” Keith knocked the rest of the glass back, deciding he was going to need it. “So, what are plans here? Drinking obviously.”

“What, that’s not enough for you?” Shiro asked. Pidge chuckled as well. “Coran helped me find these, and Pidge helped me draw on them,” He took out a pack of something that looked something like cards, though they didn’t seem to bend, “thought we could try and play some while I tell embarrassing stories about you to Pidge and Coran.”

Keith sticks his tongue out at him, but smiled. “I’ll have you know, I’ve done nothing wrong in my life, ever.”

At that Pidge burst out laughing, “Oh yeah?” they said, “What about the time I caught you and Lance stuck in the vents?”

“What?” Shiro asked, amused, as he started trying to shuffle the unbendable cards.

Keith started pouring himself a second glass, “That was ENTIRELY Lance’s fault.”

Coran’s mustache twitched, “Like the time I found you both frozen and trapped in a med pod?”

Keith glared at him. “Definitely Lance’s fault.” 

“What about the time—“ Pidge started, but Keith interrupted.

“Alright, alright,” Keith said, “It’s possible in our youth, when we first started dating we may have…overdone things.”

Coran muttered something under his breath that sounded like, “caught you half naked in the training room last week.” Keith glared him down.

“Five card draw?” Shiro asked, “We’ll teach you, Coran.” Coran nodded and Shiro started dealing the cards, “Did I ever tell the story of how I met Keith?”

A few hours later, Coran had retired, leaving the other three laughing so hard their eyes were watering. The first two bottles of wine was completely emptied and the third was halfway there. Keith had been responsible for more than his fair share, and had a pink glow on his cheek.

“They—they are TOTALLY hiding aliens at the Garrison!” Pidge said, choking on their own hiccups.

“They ARE!” Keith said, “Pidge—Pidge—Slidge—“

“Slidge?” Pidge said, exasperated.

“I was tryin to say sludge…I don’t know why. Anyway. Pidge, we should go break them out. We should. Just like. Get them out.”

“Yes!” Pidge was agreeing. “We could totally take them!”

“No one’s breaking anyone out!” Shiro said, pulling the wine away from Keith. Keith whined at him. “Behave. You’re going to be a married man soon.”

Keith moaned and dropped his head down on the counter. “But I don’t WANNA,” He said, reaching and failing to grab the wine bottle from Shiro.

“Maybe Shiro’s right,” Pidge said, drinking their own wine, “You’ve been drinking a lot, you might wanna slow down.”

“No,” Keith said, his words slurring, “I meant getting married…” 

His words caught them all off guard, no one more than himself. Shiro put the wine down, the words seeming to sober him. Pidge looked between the two of them, unsure about where the conversation had turned, “Guys…” Keith said, coming to the realization as he spoke, “I don’t wanna get married…”

 

Allura, somehow still vaguely sober, drove the speeder back to the castle. Hunk and Lance couldn’t stop laughing at some long forgotten joke, and they all stumbled inside. There were lights on in the kitchen. “Looks like the other party’s still goin on,” Hunk said. 

“Less…Lets go see what they’re up to.” Lance said pulling his friend along, “I have to tell Keith about that alien I saw,”

“It was an alien planet!” Allura said, “they were all aliens!”

“The one—the one that LOOKED like him, like…it had his hair—“

“I’m telling you,” Hunk said, “That wasn’t anything like his hair.”

“It was, it—“ Lance was cut off as he walked into the kitchen. Keith was on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while Shiro hugged his shoulders and seemed to be whispering words of comfort. Pidge was pouring a glass of water. They looked up to see Lance, Hunk, and Allura, and gave them a half smile that didn’t reach their eyes before bringing it to Keith.

Keith hesitantly lifted his head, and took the water, his eyes red and tearstained. “Keith?” Lance asked, instantly concerned. 

Keith looked up. Upon seeing Lance, he flinched, and looked away turning into Shiro’s chest. Shiro took the water out of his hand, and looked up at Lance, summoning him over with a nod of his head, “Come on, you two have a lot to talk about.” 

 

Keith felt a sharp pain in his head when he woke up. He scrunched his face up, trying to see, but the light in the room was too bright. “Keith?” A voice asked. It was too loud.

“Uuuugh,” he moaned. “’M never drinking again…”

“C’mere,” Someone was holding his head. He squinted one eye just slightly open, just enough to see the green jacket of someone sitting beside him. Lance… “Open up,” Lance said, “I’ve got a magical space alien hangover cure.”

Keith opened his eyes at that, and saw the vial Lance was holding in front of his face. He leaned his face up. Lance poured it into his mouth, and he drank greedily, licking the traces off his lips. 

He was surprised when Lance let go of his head and went to sit on a chair in front of Keith.

The hangover was starting to dim, but not fast enough for Keith’s liking. Clutching his head, he forced himself to sit up. He shook his head, trying to clear it, but it only made things worse. 

He looked up, and his concern about his head was overwhelmed with concern for Lance. Lance was hunched forward, watching Keith, resting his head on his hands and had bags under his eyes. “Did you sleep?” Keith asked.

Lance gave a little shrug. “What do you remember?”

Keith tried to think of the night before. He had been drinking and laughing and…had started crying about not wanting to get married… “You had just entered the kitchen,” Keith said, “Nothing else.” Lance gave a small nod, still watching him. “Did…something else happen?”

Lance was silent for a moment, something Keith was not used to. He bit his lip considering his words, “You mean before you passed out in my arms?” There was just a hint of bitterness and a lot of hurt in his voice, “You cried and begged me not to make you marry me.”

Keith buried his face in his hands, partially from embarrassment, partially because the hangover hadn’t been cleared yet, “Lance…” he said, “I was…I was drunk. You shouldn’t take it too seriously.” He dared to look back at Lance.

Lance was chewing on his inner lip. “Okay,” He said, his eyes still dark and tired, “Okay, but I have to ask…Do you want to marry me?”

Keith hesitated, thrown off by the question. There was a knot in his stomach that he didn’t think had to do with his hangover. He apparently hesitated for too long as Lance lowered his head, “Hey,” he said, his heart breaking and his head pounding as he got up to kneel in front of Lance, “Hey, I do. I mean. I’m confused, by a lot of things right now, but…I—It’s just some cold feet. I love you,” He reached up and grabbed Lance’s hand, “I love you so much, Lance. I—I don’t know why I said those things. I’m sorry.”

Lance was still quiet, and it unnerved Keith to his core. Keith watched him, waiting for some kind of sign, trying to read him. Lance had always been easy to read up until now. Lance seemed to realize the ball was in his court, so he opened his mouth to speak. He closed it again when no words came out, scrunched up his face and tried to speak again. “Do you…” he said quietly, “Do you want to break up?”

“No!” Keith protested, tightly gripping his hand, “No, I…I don’t. I told you, I love you. I just,” Keith ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know what I am. I just.” He sat on the ground, crossing his legs, “I’m so confused.”

“It’s not supposed to be confusing,” Lance said.

“I know!” Keith said, “I should—I should want this. I do want…I love you. I want to be with you, and stay with you, and…” He grabbed his head and curled down in himself, “God I’m such an idiot.”

He felt the tears starting to sting the edges of his eyes. Why couldn’t he want to marry Lance? What was missing? What was wrong with him? He tore at his hair, trying to keep himself from crying, and also hide his face from Lance.

Lance apparently wasn’t having it. Keith jerked up as he felt Lance’s hands over his own and realized Lance was sitting on the floor beside him, “You’re not an idiot,” He said softly, pulling Keith’s hands into his own. “I’m sorry, I…I got so caught up and excited in this wedding, I didn’t stop to think that you might not want this. I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Keith said, “I just…you have nothing to be sorry about I’m the one who screwed up.” He swallowed, “I am screwed up, I—god. Why shouldn’t I marry you? There’s no…there’s no logical reason, you’re amazing and great, and I want to be with you forever, so what…why wouldn’t I want to marry you? It’s gotta be me, I’m the screw up I—“

“Hey,” Lance said, “Hey,” He squeezed his hands and shook his head, “You’re not screwed up, okay? Just…take a deep breath.” Lance took a deep breath himself, “First off, its not exactly a sign of being screwed up to not want to marry me. Second, if you don’t want to get married, we don’t have to get married.”

Keith blinked at him, “But you’ve been wanting to get married, you—got so excited, and—“

“I want to marry you IF you want to marry me. I want us to be happy…together, not you steadily growing resentful of me because you think I forced you to marry me.” 

Keith swallowed, staring at their entwined hands, “But I hurt you.”

Lance squeezed his hands again, “I’m mostly hurt knowing that I hurt you for…for however long without knowing.” Keith bit his lip, “I do think we should talk, though.”

Keith winced, “I don’t know what to say.” 

Lance picked up his head and kissed him. Keith closed his eyes and let Lance calm him down. Lance pulled away, “Okay. So.”

“So,” Keith repeated, “I love you, you know that right?” 

Lance nodded, “You said that,” He smirked sadly, “A few times, it’s sounding more like a reassurance.”

“I mean it,” Keith said, “Lance, you have to know I’d never…I can’t see myself without you, ever. I…I keep saying the same things over and over because I don’t know how to fully like…describe it. I just…” He took Lance’s hand and squeezed it, “You mean so much to me.” He took a deep breath, “I like…I like waking up with you, fighting by your side, laughing with you…everything. I’m happy, you know, where we are now.”

Lance nodded, listening, “We’d still do all those things even if we’re married, you know that, right?” He swallowed, “I mean, not much would change except we’d have a party and wear some rings.”

Keith sighed, “I—I know. That’s what I’ve been telling myself,” He held Lance’s hand and squeezed it for comfort, “It’s just…whenever I think about the wedding, I just…I get this knot in my stomach.”

Lance leans up against the bed, pulling Keith with him. Keith nuzzled into Lance’s chest, knowing that he was upset and trying to comfort him. “Is it just the ceremony? Do you not want to do something big?”

Keith thought about it, playing out the idea in his head of just something small. It was comforting to think of himself not in the spotlight, but… “I want to say yes, so we can just…compromise and be done with it, but its…it’s the whole thing.” He swallowed, “I…I’m not like you. I never had a good example of a married couple around me. My mother was gone before I could remember, and Dad refused to talk about it. And then…and then he disappeared too.” Keith sniffed, realizing he was crying a bit. Lance lightly rubbed his shoulders, letting him get out what he needed, “None of the foster homes I was in were exactly exemplary. Just…couples who hated each other but it was too hard to leave.”

“We’re not like that,” Lance said, “We…Keith, we’ve been doing this for years, and sometimes we fight, but we always talk and work it out eventually.”

“Lance, all couples say ‘we’re not like that’” Keith sniffed again, “But there are…there are a lot of couples who ARE like that, and…and I don’t know…” Keith was getting Lance’s shirt wet with his tears, but Lance didn’t seem to mind, “I’m just scared.”

“Scared or what happens if we stop liking each other?” Lance asked. Keith nodded his head, “Scared of the possibility of being on the ship with your ex-husband?”

“Scared of everything!” Keith said, curling into Lance, “I’m…I never thought about getting married. It just didn’t occur to me! I’ve…never really thought much about my future. I was always being shipped one place or another, or—or just trying to survive in the desert. I couldn’t be bothered to think like that when I always had more pressing issues in the present.” Lance clutched him, holding him close. “But now…ever since you proposed I keep thinking of all the possibilities…and its overwhelming! What if one of us gets hurt, or-or dies? What if we fight and you want a divorce? Can we even get a divorce in space? What if one of us cheats? Or I forget an anniversary—oh god, Lance I am terrible with keeping track of dates when we’re on one planet with one calendar, let alone flying through space with aliens. And what about date-dates, will we still go on those? Will the romance just sort of…melt away until we feel like we’re stuck together? What if we want kids? Or…what if you want kids, and I don’t…could we even raise kids on the space station, what with fighting all the time? Oh god what if we FIGHT all the time, I know Pidge calls us a bickering old couple, but what if it gets actually really bad and not playful and we actually hurt each other and…and…”

His throat hitches as he realizes he’s been sobbing. Lance holds him tight, “Hey, hey,” He said, “Let it all out, whatever you need.” He kisses the top of Keith’s head. Keith took shuddering breaths. He wasn’t used to crying so much, even to Lance. It just felt like it all came out of him at once. 

Keith did, and Lance held him. Finally, when the tears slowed, Lance said, “Everything you mentioned…all the things your scared of, we can work out together. That’s why I proposed, when whatever shit comes our way, I want you by my side, more than anyone else.”

Keith gave him a light squeeze, “I’ll always be by your side.”

Lance kissed the top of his head again, “The first thing we have to do is…is talk about things like this. When you’re scared I want you to tell me so I can help, alright?” Keith nodded into Lance’s chest. 

“I’m still,” Keith said, a hitch in his breath stopping the words, “I’m still—“ 

“You’re scared?” Lance said. Keith nodded, holding him close. “Okay.”

Keith frowned at him, “Okay what?”

“Okay, we won’t get married, right now,” Lance said. He took a deep breath, “But we still love each other, so, we’re at least on the same page about that.” Keith smiled at him, leaned up and kissed Lance. Lance smiled at him, backing away. “Would you…I mean, someday…would you ever want to get married? Like, eventually?”

Keith thought about it hard, “I…maybe?” He looked up at Lance, his beautiful, understanding Lance, “Yeah…someday, I think I would.”

Lance smiled at him, taking his hand. He took Keith’s engagement ring off of his finger, leaving a red imprint behind. He then placed it in Keith’s palm, “Whenever you’re ready,” He said, “Just put it on. Or, heck, propose to me, whatever makes you comfortable.”

Keith closed his fist around the ring, “Okay.”

“And then,” Lance leaned his head against Keith’s, “We’ll BOTH plan this out, okay? The most important thing is we’re together. Right?”

Keith smiled and nodded, “Right.” 

 

It was a few months later. Keith woke up before Lance and was getting ready for the day.

Lance was having a slow morning. He moaned into his pillow, “Lance,” Keith said, throwing Lance’s clothes at him. Lance moaned more, “Lance, we have to get up.”

“Idonwanna,” He muttered. 

Keith reached over and shook his shoulder, “C’mon, Lance.”

Lance groaned again, but soon stopped as his brain started waking up, neuron by neuron. Keith’s hand felt…weird. Was he holding something as he shook him?

With a Herculean effort, Lance lifted his head and looked at the hand on his shoulder with one eye. A silver band was twinkling up at him from Keith’s ring finger. A familiar silver band. Lance opened his other eye to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, staring at it for probably longer than necessary to confirm its existence and significance.

He looked up at Keith, who was also staring at the ring. He gave Lance a shy smile, and squeezed his shoulder. “Breakfast?”

Lance blinked. “Yeah…” He said, trailing off, “Yeah, that sounds…that sounds good.” He got up and dressed in record time. 

Keith held out his hand with the ring on it. Lance took it, and kissed the ring, before he held his hand and they both made their way to breakfast.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through old files and this has been sitting half-done for MONTHS and so I decided to finish it, so, here ya go.


End file.
